'Devil' label for Bush angers Satan

Hell, The Underworld (AP) -- Comments today by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez referring to American President George W. Bush as the "devil" brought about angry criticism from Satan.

"I've done some pretty nasty stuff in my time, but don't lump me in with that prick," a clearly annoyed Lucifer Mephistopheles said. "I mean, the people I torture down here, they actually deserve it."

"And how many countries have I invaded since the start of eternity? None. Zero. Zilch. Nada," the Prince of Darkness added during an interview at FOX News' Hades studio.

Mr. Mephistopheles said he believed he was on good terms with Chavez until the Venezuelan leader's remarks to the U.N. General Assembly on Wednesday.

"I thought we made a deal in good faith. This poor Central American wanted to be leader of his country and have lots of oil, so I cut him the standard deal for his soul, eternal damnation and a non-disclosure clause," Mr. Mephistopheles said. "I'll have to check with my lawyers to see if there's a defamation clause in the contract as well. Luckily for me, I just got Johnnie Cochran on retainer for eternity last year, as well as every other lawyer who's walked the earth.

I mean, at least Bush didn't go around calling Saddam Hussein me and Dick Cheney shut up when I gave Halliburton pretty much every contract in Iraq. Those guys at least know a deal's a deal."

When asked if he had a similar deal with the younger Bush for the U.S. presidency, Mr. Mephistopheles would not confirm or deny it with FOX's reporters.

"All I can say is that Hugo and George will have a few millennia to work out their differences," Mr. Mephistopheles laughed.

Mr. Mephistopheles also vehemently denied being a member of the Republican party, saying that he will most likely vote independent in the fall.